Religious Satire

The Sanctity of Marriage

My wife and I celebrated our 62th year of marriage on Thanksgiving. We credit the reason for the sanctity of our 62 years is we never lived near any homosexual couples. I wonder if the 50% divorce rate in heterosexual marriages was the result of homosexual neighbors.

With the conditions in Iraq and Afghanistan today it would be a wise move to install a draft of homosexuals. This would clear out the gays in San Francisco and entertainers in Hollywood and Broadway. Many white heterosexuals could then come home. The gays could then be in their own division led by Rev. Ted Haggard. They could be assigned to the most dangerous combat, saving the lives of heterosexuals. They could even lead the way in locating land mines. Muslims have the same fear of homosexuals as many Americans, which may frighten them with this large group of American gays. We could even have some inter- country gayety.

We could still use additional recruits as W may invade Iran to bring his ratings back to prewar levels. There are around ten million undocumented Mexicans living in the USA. who could be used for military duty. With the removal of the Habeas Corpus law, Mexicans could be arrested with no entitlement to a trial or Lawyer. If they refuse military service a new law allows torture to convince them; thanks to our leaders for these life saving laws. They could even be sent to overseas prisons for torture if needed.

Mexicans could be valuable as with their diet of refried beans and chili beans, they could go, as a group, into neighborhoods and make the enemy think we are using gas and chemical warfare.

I am aware that for every action there’s a reaction, similar to prescription drugs having side effects. Removing all the gays would be devastating to people like Falwell, Dobson, Robertson, and other righteous preachers as they would lose their major tools used to frighten politicians and control their herds of sheep, plus affecting them financially.

An example of this is the resignation of a preacher of a large group of Evangelicals because he wanted to make elimination of poverty and global warming more important than abortion and homosexuals. This large Christian group don’t want to lose the power of their two powerful instruments of control; so denied his request.

If there was a way to require Pro Life members to adopt all unwanted children, abortion could be reduced to the point where the righteous would lose there reason to protest. With this and the draft we would eliminate these two instruments of control, which would force their parishioners to read the Sermon on the Mount; bringing religion back to when it wasn’t used for political power.

Another side effect: The of drafting illegal Mexicans would raise the ire of wealthy Americans who would lose their cheap labor and have to pay higher wages to get Americans to do their dirty work. I have personally visited the farm workers camps of Mexican and Portuguese workers and it reminded me of the movie “Roots”. Domestic and landscape workers are also a gift to the upper income class, so this wouldn’t be politically popular. “A rich man’s appetite is never satisfied”. Quote from someone important.

I wrote this after the big hoop-ala over Rev. Ted Haggard’s being forced out of the closet. I wasn’t concerned about his sexual orientation, but  his hypocrisy. I support homosexuals as religious leaders as they were also created by the same deity that created heterosexuals, but must be held to the same standards of honesty needed by people in this position.

I have suspected many homophobias of having an imbalance of hormones or are latent homosexuals. Ted is just one of those coming out of the closet by being exposed by accident. He should have followed the old Japanese proverb “Never watch a bonfire in a straw coat”.

I have no opinion on gay Penguins.

America must wake up to the dangers of a theocracy and racism creeping into our government. Amen!

12/5/06

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One response to “Religious Satire

  1. Vicki Sue McKinnis

    I appreciate your ability to use satire to make a point you feel very strongly about. I had to chuckle, and shake my head as I read this; finding that you make very valid points and shed light on the issues. Hopefully some day truth and goodness will prevail and we will all treat each other with fairness and kindness.

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